Train Me.

A long time ago, a girl I know, like most girls I know, uttered something that she did not really mean, such as "Let's meet at Times Square for New Year's Eve."

I ignored this comment that was uttered at a wedding banquet - the first post college reunion for many ladies and yours truly.

But then all girls at the table (73 strong) chimed in the death blow:

"It'll be fun!"

And then it was on.

I made a note of this. I knew in my heart that no one would take the time or the effort save an off the cuff remark on Dec 30th over some staticky cell phone of "Oh, we should've done it. Oh well, Old Acquaintances and s#(t." I was determined to give the idea a fighting chance. So around October I started calling the ladies (also known as girls) and put a bug in their ear to start researching plane tickets and saving money.

All for naught.

However! I am still in. I am going to fly out in two hours for the trip of my life, a trip I am already regretting:

-Fly to Baltimore, put some muscle on my landlord
-Have Dinner with my neighbor for the first time (also, just two days before my lease expires - we lived by each other for 6 months...go hug your neighbor now, Blogger!)
-Bus up to New York New York
-Freeze my can off for 8 hours to secure 10 seconds of glory, riding that ball all the way down while flipping off Dick Clark
-Wait for 8 hours until the crowd dissipates
-Bus down to Philly, as a body guard for a reputable Catholic
-Hang out with my poor friend in publishing and my rich friend in stocks and bonds (guess whose house I'll be staying at - that's right, the one with GOOG IPO for bed sheets).
-Bus back up to NYC to celebrate a friend's B-day
-Train (I said train) to Chicago
-Sears Tower, chicago-style pizza, and an interview with A. Brown (will you and Simeon Rice have a baby and donate it to the Broncos?)
-Train (I said train) to Grand Junction, Colorado, home of the Liquor Barn (with Silo).
-Star in a Honda Dealership commercial as a coffee sipping "waiting room man with contemplative beard"


The train is cheap. The train is frickin' long. 18 hours to Chicago from nYc. 27 hours from CHI to GJT. To pass the time, I will attempt reading three books:

The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
The Sound and The Fury (Faulkner)
The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)

And Faithful Blogger-ites, I will write a script/short-story tying together all the themes of the three aforementioned tomes, just because Nicholas Sparks is a pansy.