Awards are worth nothing.

I've been on a kick of looking up childhood football heroes and Superbowls, and am finding out a lot via wikipedia. A sample:

Pound that rock. John Gruden taunted a celebratory crowd after the Bucs' Superbowl victory against the Panty Raiders with "Pound! That! Rock!" I found it humorous that no one else joined in with him, and there was a collective "huh?" in the crowd. Well, looks like the Jags thought having a catchy phrase would get them a superbowl victory - instead, it nearly cost the punter his life.

Greg Lloyd. All I remember is that he was super strong. He was fined for shoving Brett Favre 12 feet (unnecessary roughness or late hit accusation). I just remember the commentators saying that it looked like a legitimate hit, and it would be ludicrous if he was fined for just being strong. He was fined for that - but should have been fined for shoving a gun in his son's mouth because of "poor grades."

And this little ditty about Eugene the Machine:
Bronco's 2nd Second Super Bowl Victory and the Morality of Man

Now, to Eugene's credit, the 40 dollars did not include the tip, which was going to be the friendship bracelet that his 8 year-old daughter gave him on his birthday.

Bart Starr - stop spinning!

Updates of Fatness - III

July 16th
weight: 275.0 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in

July 23rd
weight: 279.5 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in


Shoot. So much for my month of weight loss. I might re-instate my plan to touch 300...just like my pal Amobi Okoye.

Heart(s) of a Champion

Just got back from Denver.

Had two friends wuss out on seeing me. They have no heart.

However, in the game of Hearts, my first time playing, I found myself with 88 points. If I was forced to take the queen of spades, I'd be a goner.

However, I played it cool. I started accumulating hearts, telling everyone how I wanted to go home. With four cards in my hand, I started the play by laying a card down on the table. I had three left in my hand.

Ms. Fiancee laid a card less than mine, in suit (not a spade).

Then Mr. Fiancee looked at Ms. Fiancee, and said, "Hon, have you collected any hearts in this round?"

She stopped thinking about her can in a wedding dress for one second and answered, "Yes, sweetums."

Then that fat codger laid down the Unlucky Lady.

Then the fourth person laid down a card less than mine, in suit.

The taunting began but no tears were in my eyes. I checked the cards I had collected to see which heart I should play next. This caused a controversy as to whether I could check them or not, and the majority decided that I could. This is key.

My checking my cards caused people to have loose stools. They frantically starting checking their cards...turns out Ms. Fiancee was mistaken - she had no hearts...and neither of the other gentlemen had any collected cards, which left me with an Unlucky Lady with 11 Hearts.

And 2 more in my hand.

Softly the words from the stereo washed over the table, "and somewhere in the darkness, the gambler he broke even..."

Needless to say, I shot the frickin' moon, which landed me at 62 and added 26 to everyone, sending Ms. Fiancee over the 100 mark, ending the game.

And THAT'S how you play Hearts!