Thursday, May 07, 2009

Look, mom, both hands.

I'm learning all sorts of stuff.


Unassisted triple play, and Troy's confusion.

I want to train my kids to speak two languages, use of either hand for anything, and to party hard no matter what. This should help them become flash in the pan celebrities.

Any father would be proud.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Bea Arthur and the Trekkies and my physics professor

So once upon a time a man read this about TV Taboos, which features a lot of Star Trek and Golden Girls and Jason Bateman.

Then he scrunched up his nose, put a finger to his glasses, and angrily typed out the following, and then went to teach his Physics class at CU Boulder:

"First Bisexuals: Star Trek's 1967 episode "The Trouble With Tribbles" features Tribbles, adorable fuzzy creatures who reproduce constantly and swing both ways. Some would argue that Tribbles were also television's first Furries.

Actually they were asexual and reproduced through parthenogenesis. You really should do your research if you're going to write an article like this.

Dr. McCoy said that they were born pregnant and that they'd reproduce if they were fed enough."

Friday, April 17, 2009

Here's to Ashton

1. To celebrate @aplusk getting 1 million and the subsequent death of Twitter.

2. Never again the whole quantities on an empty stomach.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Twitter: Sure, this room is full of people who have followers...

but no one is getting laid with the Weezer-wannabe motif. Especially sweater vest guy on the right.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Another reason to stay in the boat.

His thoughts are transparent
In head o'er one heart calloused
To the cares of the surface-
In preference for the deep.

I call him clear-headed-fishy-fish,
because his head is clear like water,
and he is a fish,
like the kind that in the water.

- George W. Bush

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Your choice II.

Read the Daily Sentinel's front page or pretty much any other po-dunk paper in the world's front page at Newseum.

Your choice.

You can either open up the Sunday Sears ad or look at this guy to see a tool.

Friday, February 06, 2009

A link between two links suggested by GMAIL

Say it in with your l's being r's and your r's being w's and darn it, if it doesn't sound like a study by the Hollywood Chinese (who made Barack look better than he is so that he could get in and soften up our defenses so we can be annihilated by nukes and those tiny motors in all those trinket-toys!)

"American women love markdowns and tend to shop impulsively."

Source 1

Source 2

Feel free to send this as a forward to your hyper-conservative parents. I will be sure to have my liberal elite friends who control the tubes in serial fashion to re-edit for veracity validation vindication.

Saturday, January 24, 2009


So I found when typing in a web-address in my iPhone that "~" was not available.

I remember sometimes seeing sites with a %7e instead of a tilde.

I found this site to confirm that business.

Then realized that for a guy who advocates not using "~", he frickin' used a tilde in his web address.

He probably texts messages to his own Facebook wall during movies that I'm in as well.


Giving back

I just edited my first Wikipedia article:
I changed "failture" to "failure."

No please. Don't thank me.

1984 is 25 years old

I think I got every reference in this 1984 Superbowl ad - which is pretty good for being 2 years old when it aired.

As a side note: My dad once dated the woman athlete in the ad. Well one date. She was too handsy and he is a man of principle - do the math. One date.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I know, I know -- but he's actually a leg man.

Recently had a friend change his last name from Pincock to Blackford.

This guy had the courage to stick his name out, albeit, his last name is easier to stick out. I need a photo of Prof. Titman scowling down Jayne Mansfield's breasts, similar to this:

Friday, November 14, 2008


My cat scratched me when I was 7 (I have the scar to prove it) so I can kill anyone I want, right?

Precedence in the making?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Do this now.

I typically have my 1st tab and 2nd tab in Firefox as GMail and Google Calendar, respectively.

Not any more.

There are two lab settings that I think are just great: 1) The Google Calendar in Gmail, and 2) the navbar drag and drop.

This is what I recommend: turn on the two lab settings mentioned above. Then, drag the calendar in GMail as high as it can go, and minimize everything else. Now that you have your calendar in your GMail, you don't need those reminder emails from Google Calendars (the ones you forget to delete over the year and have to waste Christmas Night discarding). To mass turn off default reminders, go into Google Calendars settings and "remove" the default reminder. This should turn off a vast majority of your reminder emails. Now, take a breath, and close your 2nd tab.

Or put there instead.

Now whenever you hear a song you like, just hit ctrl+2 and give it a thumbs up, like the one your mom gave you when got a sack in the championship game!


Super Troopers has predicted a lot of things.

Farva: It doesn't matter cause I'm going to win ten million dollars.
Thorny: What are you going to do with ten million dollars, and you can't say buy the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Farva: I'd buy a ten million dollar car.
Thorny: That's a good investment but I'd still pull you over.
Farva: Bull Shit. You couldn't pull me over, and even if you did I'd activate my car's wings and I'd fly away.
[Farva pulls off ticket from cup and pop spills all over him from the hole behind the ticket]
Farva: Dammit, you burger punk. You son of a bitch!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I will become a Madman

The cleverness of the pitch has really impressed me.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


The following have caused me to believe again:

1) In the City of Charm, we have an abandoned statement about the city: "Believe". It was supposed to scare drug dealers and junkies to stop what they were doing, right there in the moment and take a shower and a shave and join the gainfully employed. Well, there are lots of variations of the parody, most being in black background / white font as the original. I saw the best one yet the other day in Hampden:


2) Seeing Josh Hamilton, the newest and greatest rock star Christian athlete since AC Green swore he would not so much as accidentally put his wiener on a surface where a woman had been within 20 feet of, hit 28 homers in the Homerun Derby last night.

3) This.

And that's how I returned to blogging. Thanks, Patrick, for 3).

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Learn from your mistakes. Walker away.

Javon Walker held Darrent Williams, Denver Broncos cornerback, as he died last year in a drive by shooting. This may or may not be related to he, Williams, and Brandon Marshall spraying people with champagne at a nightclub in Denver.

Now Javon Walker was recently found beaten up in Las Vegas and was seen earlier that night not* spraying champagne...

*I wish I could type it without the asterisk, because he was in fact spraying champagne. I'm not a psychologist, but Walker may have a learning disability.

Source of info.

Friday, June 06, 2008

I could not agree more...

...except that 58.7 should be changed to 99.7. And go ahead and leave the 41.3. Her annoyance defies mathematics.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Quote of the Year

Bob Davidson, please tell us how you really feel:

"I (expletive) it up. I'm the one who thought it was a (expletive) foul ball. I saw it on the replay. I'm the one who (expletive) it up so you can put that in your paper," Davidson said. "Bolts and nuts, I (expletive) up. You've just got to move on. No one feels worse about it than I do."

About an overturned call, turning a legitimate homerun into a foul ball.

According to Wikipedia, he's not a virgin to controversy.

I, however, am.

Friday, May 02, 2008

One reason GMAIL sucks.

I think there are few, but this is one.

My heart is tattooed in monospace gothic - I'll settle for a default courier new.

Monday, April 28, 2008

"Anyone who knows me knows that alliteration is very important to me as well."

Clemens told Congress on Feb. 13 that his family has been vital to him during his career.

"Anyone who has spent time around me knows that my family is and has always been my top priority," it said in a portion of the opening statement he delivered. "My wife, Debbie, and my sons -- Koby, Kory, Kacy and Kody -- mean more to me than anything in the world."

It makes sense that a pitcher would choose K's.

Too bad he can't spell some of them with a backwards K.


"The Wire" inspired evaluation.

I took the exit interview, and if you've seen all that you want of The Wire, then you should too. There are some spoilers there, so come back and take it if that need arises.

The quote from the exit interview, is printed verbatim and ver-capital letters:

The internet is skimming the froth of commentary from the first-generation news gatherers like The Sun. They have parasitically achieved immediacy and relevance by co-opting the debate, the humor, the rage, and the provocation that results from the news product--WITHOUT ACTUALLY INVESTING OR COMMITTING IN ANY SERIOUS WAY TO THE SYSTEMIC ACQUISITION OF THAT NEWS.

So that I'm not accused of skimming the froth too much, the context is down below. But I realized that I have been a spoiled brat with the social commentary -- that most of what I do is find -- no I don't even find them -- the interesting and quirky news-bits find me through my reader and "GMAIL suggested news" links; and ultimately I put a link and short post about them and feel immediacy and relevance because some guy in the Square State might read it.

My cursor is hovering over the "delete BLOG?" butt-con.

Right over the question mark.

Right over my heart.


DS: Some people have critiqued the lack of presence of the internet in the Season 5 story. For them, allow me to offer the deleted scene that would have incorporated the profound impact of the internet on the goings-on in our story set at the mythical Baltimore Sun:


A white MALE, thirties, unshaven, sits in his underwear typing on a desktop computer. C.U. on computer screen. As he links to Baltimore Sun coverage off the newspaper's web site, creating a link on his own blog. The MALE scratches his left testicle, then satisfied, begins typing. C.U. on the moving cursor as commentary ensues.


Or whatever . . .

You just said it exactly. The internet is skimming the froth of commentary from the first-generation news gatherers like The Sun. They have parasitically achieved immediacy and relevance by co-opting the debate, the humor, the rage, and the provocation that results from the news product--WITHOUT ACTUALLY INVESTING OR COMMITTING IN ANY SERIOUS WAY TO THE SYSTEMIC ACQUISITION OF THAT NEWS.

And the parasite is killing the host. Is the internet a marvelous tool in myriad ways? Of course. Is it the future? No doubt. But thus far it is not a responsible or viable alternative to a major metropolitan newspaper.

The scene above is, believe it or not, the power that the internet holds over newspapers at this point. It is the economic preamble to the story of Season 5. But to mistake it for the story itself, for the drama, is silly. The critique that The Wire undertook this season is to ask the same question--the only meaningful question--that one would ask about the media and its role in our version of Baltimore. If these problems depicted in previous seasons do exist--and they do--and if many of the trends and events depicted actually occurred--yep, many did--how effective is the highest end of local journalism at acquiring and delivering an account to readers? How are they covering the city? And that question is the same in 1972 as it is in 2008.

Could we have included a line about a reporter filing to his blog as well as the first edition. Sure, though it changes nothing in the premise. We could have also shown reporters staring at the internet in the newsroom. Look! Zorzi's reading Romenesko. It's accurate. But so is a detective filing out vehicle-use reports.

The impact of the internet is profound as preamble. Newspapers have not yet figured out how to coexist with it. But do not claim that this is because the internet is doing the job of newspapers. When bloggers begin showing up with notepads or laptops at council meetings and courthouses, in London or Moscow or Fallujah, then we'll talk.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

firefox - I'll put twins in you.

ctrl + 8 is 8th tab.

ctrl + 9 is the LAST tab.

So if you have 41 tabs open, tabs 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and 41 are accessible with the "ctrl + #" shortcut.

It is hard to out-fox the fox.

firefox - I'd like to put a baby in you.

Amongst many cool features, this one is brand new to me:

Did you know? Even if you did, forgive me, but appreciate my excitement (and realize this is my blog, so I can do what I wish, as if I was a Briton):

ctrl + 1

in firefox brings the 1st tab up from any tab that you were on.

ctrl + 2

the 2nd tab,


I always have GMAIL in my 1st tab but until this morning would just "cycle" through tabs with ctrl+tab or ctrl+shift+tab.

No longer!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

God Bless Italy.

"But Starbucks' throwback logo is fodder for the bloggers: They're poking fun at Schultz's accommodation of conservative coffee drinkers. In the original logo, the twin-tailed Greek mermaid showed her navel and bare breasts. In 2006, when the logo was originally revived, the chain received complaints about the "decency" of the logo and, despite the chairman's well-known liberal politics, the lady grew long hair to cover her indecency. That's the version we have today. Italians would never have given in—or complained in the first place."

From here.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

How to change text box font in Adobe Acrobat Professional

In the spirit of an earlier post (like anyone reads this shizz anyway), I have found something that has changed my life with respect to going digital. I have been making notes on the electronic versions of course lecture notes. Using the hotkeys, you can make text boxes by just hitting "x" or pull out boxes by just hitting "p". However, the text was huge and was frustrating because it was not monospace, so sentences did not seem to line up well which pissed me off. Right off.

So, here's how to adjust the text size and get it monospace:

however I can sum this answer up in a few words.

1) Go to Edit
2) select preferences (at bottom)
3) the go to general
4) then pick "use single key accelerators"

5) after all that (I am not sure if its required) you would highlight the text you want to change and press ctrl + e and you should get the text box properties tool bar to pop up and allow you to change the font.

6) After highlighting text, changing it to desired size, change to "Courier - New". This is monospace (like my dreams, which are monospace but the sound is in stereo).

7) Hit ctrl - s to save the document and remove the focus from the text box.

8) Right click the text box and select "make default". Now you're good to go! You have to do this for textbox and pullout boxes separately.

References here.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Snakes of the Future

I want to see a robo snake and a real snake face off in a death match.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Change you can Xerox.

If the string of events in the video are true, well done.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Need list

I hope they can implement this into a cellphone someday, and then maybe I'll get to class on time...

Although, I am really good at math when groggy. I need it to be SAT Verbal questions.

Or a picture of my mom, naked, with the yes/no question being: "Will you ever forget this?"

Monday, February 11, 2008

Please feel my cans.

Apparently the formula for Dr. Pepper is not old, so is its education.

Oh, don't mind me. I'm just hurt fillings from time-to-time and try to feel the void that is empty inside of me.

Yeah, I'm a taunter.

Dr. Pepper - sugar-energy for the wary, weary WWII woman worker.

Moustaches Redux

My friend made a gross out chart.

I feel the bushiness of my eyebrows and moustache were equivalent.

I put me at a nine.

Which is one short of the grossest.


Saturday, February 09, 2008

going digital

In honor of the honorable, I am trying to go digital.

And to do so, I'd like to eliminate white backgrounds and black font, to reduce the eye strain.

I found how to do so for PDFs at Yahoo! Answers

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

MySpace is dying.

Praise Jesus!

Now if only FaceBook would follow suit and just die.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Recognition that's not mine.

If you know what FMHS stands for, then you'll recognize two faces on this page:


However, only one of them has been inside FMHS.

My mother lied to me. She didn't "s#(t the sheets" in 1981- she crapped out my twin.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Public Privacy

It is a touchy issue.

The article.

The video: