Over Christmas break, I want to get super hydrated. I used to be the king of hydration, lugging a gallon jug of water all over Hippie University's campus.
Now, it is nothing but Coke Zero and Cafe Americanos.
But, alas, the @$$holes at Gatorade don't think I'm an athlete.
225 lbs?
I'll get Big Baby on their case. Or Ogden.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Christmas Shopping
Don't worry, Zip. I gotcha something this year.
She grew up tall, and she grew up right, with them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights.
She grew up tall, and she grew up right, with them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights.
A website. A memory.
http://www.hellboobs.com/
This is even better than when BJ Russell, in Mr. Thomas' Algebra class, turned around and showed me "L00SE" on his calculator and asked, "Is this what your mom is?"
And, I, not understanding the ways of the world yet, replied in the affirmative.
This is even better than when BJ Russell, in Mr. Thomas' Algebra class, turned around and showed me "L00SE" on his calculator and asked, "Is this what your mom is?"
And, I, not understanding the ways of the world yet, replied in the affirmative.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Horse collars, punters, and returners! Oh my!
I miss football so freakin' much!
Tampa Bay has gotten its first kick return for a touchdown - ever. Devin Hester reportedly sent Michael Spurlock this note:
"Dear Spurlocker,
I wish I could have had the Bears' first. OH well. I"ll just settle for having their most.
And I slept with your wife.
Love,
Anytime"
Confidence, and the substance to back it up, is what makes Hester better than Sauerbrun, who, keeps falling down when trying to tackle pure speed.
Oh, and the horse-collar tackle rocks! I wish I had grip strength like Williams.
[insert masturbation joke]
-unfinished terrific
Tampa Bay has gotten its first kick return for a touchdown - ever. Devin Hester reportedly sent Michael Spurlock this note:
"Dear Spurlocker,
I wish I could have had the Bears' first. OH well. I"ll just settle for having their most.
And I slept with your wife.
Love,
Anytime"
Confidence, and the substance to back it up, is what makes Hester better than Sauerbrun, who, keeps falling down when trying to tackle pure speed.
Oh, and the horse-collar tackle rocks! I wish I had grip strength like Williams.
[insert masturbation joke
-unfinished terrific
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Ugliness.
Daniel Day Lewis - admire his work, not his clothes. [Thanks eaumaison].
Big Baby (of the Celtics) really looks like a huge baby. I wish I could get paid 425K in one year and look like a retard. For the record, I'm only getting paid 16K while looking like a retard.
Plus, here's the issue: when I say Big Baby, I need my audience to immediately conjure up the image of this Big Baby who destroyed the Broncos in their most recent match up, getting 2.5 sacks and an interception returned for a touchdown (with the meanest stiff-arm I've ever seen). He did more in that game than Marques Harris and Andrew Walter have done their whole careers combined!
And he weighs more than them combined as well!
Is this a coincidence?
Get me a pizza, get me greatness!
-fat tangerine
Big Baby (of the Celtics) really looks like a huge baby. I wish I could get paid 425K in one year and look like a retard. For the record, I'm only getting paid 16K while looking like a retard.
Plus, here's the issue: when I say Big Baby, I need my audience to immediately conjure up the image of this Big Baby who destroyed the Broncos in their most recent match up, getting 2.5 sacks and an interception returned for a touchdown (with the meanest stiff-arm I've ever seen). He did more in that game than Marques Harris and Andrew Walter have done their whole careers combined!
And he weighs more than them combined as well!
Is this a coincidence?
Get me a pizza, get me greatness!
-fat tangerine
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