Ignorance is Blisstering

I went out into Charm City tonight, and I wanted to report that although Hurricane Katrina has inundated the Big Easy and plunged it into the strangle-hold of human depravity with raping and pillaging galore, she has failed to deter the spirits of Baltimoreans.

That's right, America. That hussy Katrina could not keep a good city down. Women still put on their $45 - $47 Ipexes, slick tank tops, and denim skirts to dance for the Quarters of France. Men still rolled up a gym sock or two and put them in their Euro-roos before they headed to the clubs as if to say to Katrina "Life will go on several miles away from your warpath."

All right, all right. So I'm not any better because I am not selling all my possessions to give a donation to the Hurricane Katrina Relief Fund (why do we immortalize this Scorned Lady by putting her name in the moniker of the restoring effort? - We don't usually name Funds after the tragedy...I have never seen on the news "Please donate to The Smith's House Burnt Down Fund" or "Dave Pluntero Died and His Family is Bummed Fund"). I just feel that some people are not getting the scope of the damage and chaos that is occurring to our brethren in the South. We are a generation that would rather zone out, dress to impress, and dance our faces off in attempts to get some action or at least attention while getting plastered at the clubs only to spend the money left over from cover charges, parking, drinking, bras, tank tops, denim skirts, gym socks, and hair gel on a "Chicken McChicken" ordered too loudly while fumbling for change and trying to answer our cell phones to yell "WHAT'S UP ?! I GOTTA BE QUIET! I'M DRUNK IN A MCDONALD'S TALKING TO YOU!"

Hey, it is a free country. Do what you want.

Although, equally frustrating are some of the denizens of Atlantis - er, Nahlins. There are reports of people taking pot shots at Cop Copters because they won't come and pick up their family. I imagine it goes something like this:

Man: Come get me and my family! We're stranded on a roof!

CopCopter: Please remain calm. We are approaching you.

[shotgun blast]

Man: C'mon, what are you waiting for?

CopCopter: Whoa. Did you just shoot at me?

Man: No, it was an accident...safety don't work cause of the water. Come rescue us!

CopCopter: Are you going to shoot at me?

Man: Why would I shoot at you? You're going to help me.

CopCopter: That's my point.

Man: We are on the same page.

CopCopter: Okay, I'm approaching you. Please remain -

[shotgun blast]

CopCopter: What the *&^%, sir! We had an agreement!

Man: You must understand my plight...I'm a man with his back against the wall; a dog that has been kicked over and over again, and I am bound to bite.

CopCopter: Do you want help or not...we're running low on fuel hovering about like this, and you don't even want to know how much that is costing us - we fill up in Atlanta, sir.

Man: Please help my babies!

CopCopter: Put down the gun, first.

Man: Okay.

CopCopter: Step away from it.

Man: What? Why? Silly CopCopter, I can't shoot it with my feet.

CopCopter: Good point. Remain calm, we are approaching -

[shotgun blast]

CopCopter: Son of a ^%$#@!

Man: That'll teach you! Now come pick me up!

* * *

We as a nation should unite because of this. This should be on par with September 11th, 2001...but maybe it won't be because we do not have some party to blame but Nature. You cannot start a war with Nature, although Toby Keith is rumored to have tried once. He drove his Ford right into a tornado and released all of these little robots to collect data...this was during his years of dating Helen Hunt from the best movie on earth...oh wait. Yeah. That was the guy who looks like the President of the U.S. of A. from Independence Day which starred Will Smith who is Hitch who teaches men how to dance in order to meet girls even in the midst of a monster crisis.

Now that's CLOSURE.