Monday, January 22, 2007

Things said to me while running

1) "Run Forrest, Run!"
2) "Pick up your heels!"
3) "It's the Jolly Green Giant"
4) "Put your shirt on your fat, white f-ck!"
5) "Where you running to - McDonald's?"

Only in Charm City. In the Square State, the default is indifference to runners, but more than likely you'll get a smile or "hey" or "good morning" or "I shouldn't be alone tonight - are you straight?"

Well, I've received one compliment and one TBD statement. The compliment was "Hey, man you're really fast." which was given to me by a passerby that I crossed twice on a loop of Federal Hill. The TBD statement was given to me this morning ... I was running in my UnderArmour suit, which is bullet proof (runners in Charm City are not exempt from being shot in the nads). A gentleman called out to me, "It's Peyton Manning; Pey-ton Man-ning."

My weekend was so wild (between the lines: | I didn't spend the night in my bed, but in Jail - for public display of lascivious, lecherous, and/or lewd dancing |) that I only know that the Bears are in the Superbowl. I don't know if the Pats or the Colts are in. This is what determines if what the man said to me this morning is an insult or not...if the Colts won because Manning decided to take a page from Ron Mexico's book and scramble for Victory (not for Vick-tory (aka, Weed laced with STDs)), then the statement is a compliment because the man is associating me with winning. If the Colts lost, then he gave me the biggest verbal purple nurple, because he associated me with losing and the fact that I am a male and do not know who is in the Superbowl is as pathetic as going to an Opera and not crying.

Why do I write this out...because, in the spirit of past postings I am allowing the reader to find out as I find out. Of course, if you have a pulse, then you already know, and you'll just get to see me experience joy or pain.

Okay, I'm going to google Colts Patriots game, and see what happens.


Okay, that's the first time google failed me. Onto ESPN.com...

Victory! So I'm a winner. Plus, he might have broken his thumb, just like I did in a masturbating tournament in 8th grade. I'm sure the man who gave the comment did not know this, but he probably did know that Peyton Manning attempted 2 rushes and got zero yards...

Maybe it was an insult.

I hate this town.

Fantastic.
Terrific.

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