Saturday, March 17, 2007

Taxing

So, I freakin' did my taxes, and I thought I was going to have a beautiful relationship with TaxActOnline.com. Things started off well enough. You have to create a user name and password, and I decided to have fun with the password, so I entered:

"TaxesAreMyBlood"

And I received the error message "your password is too common. Please try again."

I was sure the system detected the word "tax" and would not allow it, but to test this I entered:

"TaxManHumpMe"

And was cleared.

This is foreshadowing. I continued to go through the most frustrating, cryptic and irrelevant line of questioning, filling out forms that ultimately had 0's in all entries for Federal, Square State, and Charm State taxes. After hours of this, it notifies me I can only file state taxes for an additional fee. I muttered something about them having me by the fatness of my balls and got out my credit card, and then a screen dictates to me that I can only file one state's return with my Federal. So all the info I poured in to this pea-brained interface was a waste. So, I decided to file the Federal and Square state, since it was only Charm State in which I owed money.

I went directly to Charm State's free interface, and was impressed yet again (I remember last year telling all my friends in Square state (3 in all) how awesome the Maryland iFile is, and 2 of them told me I was nerd, and the other, a girl who loves to work through the ranks of Math Departments, wanted to buy me a drink. We got to talking, and she reminded me that I had performed well on the Putnam a few years back and laid a hand on my thigh and gave it a squeeze, leaned in and whispered something in my ear. It was in a bar, so I did not hear her very well, but the key words I heard were "Fourier" and "double jointed." I replied that I hadn't heard of that kind of spline and took a sip of my beer, and she left quietly after paying the tab not feeling very pretty).

I digress. Sirs, I digress.

Anyway, after using iFile, it turns out the Fat Codgers at TaxAct estimate of my owing Charm State 363 dollars was wrong, and in fact I was due 194.

And of course, they have a disclaimer waiving any responsibility.

My question is, if states have direct filing systems, why doesn't the goverment? I mean, e-file doesn't exist...you go there, and the government just syphons you off to one of a bajillion sites to file for free, and some of them look sketchier than the email subject lines in my spam folder ("tAxE$_R_aWEsoMe.com" "impressHerWithTheNewSizeOfYourREturn.com", etc).


Uncle Sam, get off your monopoly high horse, and take a page from the states' tax book.

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