My new pick up line

ft: Hey, baby. Are you a piece of art?
Woman: I, uh-
ft: [ <3 *kiss* ]

fin

Inspired by her.

If only OJ had Onstar

This is pretty smart - but will Big Brother turn it against us? Telling us where we can go and who we can see when they aren't fit to wipe the spit off my boot?

And in other news, I have an inguinal hernia. It was caused by training for the 1/2 marathon because my unsupported balls are so freakin' big.

Just ask the nurse practitioner that diagnosed me.

The haunting.

Taking the plunge

I've often said I wanted a device that could do everything.

Here is : The Ocean.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous and it is okay.

Hidden Present

What the f___ is going on in Iraq?


I know, I know. I'm a little late in asking that question.

If I work for Blackwater, can I still get into Heaven? If so, it sounds like it would be the most fun on earth - a real life video game.

Hidden History

I wish my dad had rocket scientists working for him in the '50s.

First 3 games, First 3 sacks.

"Okoye had a pair of sacks and forced a fumble in the Texans’ 34-21 win over the Panthers."

From here.


The kid is going to be a star!

A few news clips (not too much sports, Rachel).

My balls liked this story.


And I only became aware of this because the BGSA sent an email to everyone in the school for pre-ordering "Jena 6" shirts. I am going to wear a "Jena 6 3 strikes and you are out - why was Bell allowed to ring for a fourth time?" shirt to their meeting. I'm sure I'll be labeled a racist, just as Michael Richards. But the truth is, I agree that the whole situation was handled poorly and as result things have gotten out of hand and there may be some racism in Louisiana playing a part, but no one should be let "off the hook" for ganging up 5 to 1 and kicking someone unconscious.

And the Vikings continue to suck.

I'm off to the Square State tomorrow.

Big, spoiled men ...

...get their due:

"Local youths left a toilet seat with a harassing message on his doorstep. Local news reported that the police did not disclose what the message on the garbage can said [19] Other sources claim that "Nice Job Tank" was written on the seat. The seat had been duct-taped to a garbage can filled with excrement."

From wikipedia.

Also, solicited spam, but ignored after an on-slaught by an email user, is called Bacn.

What is this? Eliminate "o" day? Next I'm going to read a post that says:

"Rgasm: lexigraphical scping rcks."

Grand Junktown in the news again -

this time for harboring criminals on the lamb.

Because the world is not fair.

Why can't it be like this for Caffo?

Rules are stupid.

Like these. Man, if they are green, release them everywhere. I wonder if a flying buzzing about war thought this one up.

Also, where's the 5 ways to avoid the PhD 1st year 40?

And if you're friends are sporting more ice than usual and swear that they hate the Texans (which have BVP and Amobi), turn them in.

A Bronco Bonus:

In December of 2005, I posted this. Yes, most of it is drivel, but pay attention to where I ask the Chicago Bear's A. Brown and the Bucs' Simeon Rice to have a baby and donate it to the Broncos.

A little background: the season the bucs went to the superbowl, Simeon Rice was unstoppable. I told everyone how excited I was to watch a Monday Night Football game of him while home on vacation that I would run around my house each time he got a sack, hopping over 4 fences per loop and sprinting.

I ran around my house 2.5 times that night.

Anyway, Simeon did not donate his child to the Broncos - he gave his only begotten himself.


Hooray!

A Breast Hit Man

Sign me up.

Oh wait...what are the duties? Making the corporatocracy rich and rigging ad campaigns and putting babies' lives in danger...? Hmm. I hear what you are saying, but how close to "hitting a breast" would I get? No where near? Even on Cap Hill? Okay, okay. Thanks. I don't think I want the position, but keep my CV on file.

I was solicited today to join Facebook. And I kicked her Face(book) in.

I have mentioned this in an earlier post. I guess I have to be balding and crotchety in an adorable "freelance writer" sort of way to get noticed.

Back to the Gibbs Sampler.

Get Marky-Mark on the phone.

We will call it, "The Mexican Job."

We'll leave out the mini-coopers though ... we'll borrow lame-@$$ Ford's kick-@$$ Chrysler 300 from the lame-@$$ "Firewall."

That's the spirit. The spirit of the old.

I didn't play in high school or college - so maybe I can play four years after I retire.

Can anyone contain McCrary?

Play the video.

Also, Age Of Love - recently saw the finale. Mission accomplished - they're extinct.

Some odds. Some ends.

Kanye gives props to Timberlake. I'm not so interested in that, but more between the bet between 50 cent and Kanye concerning their careers.


I personally used Vick's jersey to piss off my dad - by wrapping my dead mother in it.


Matt Murphy got to go to Australia, acquired overnight fame, and now will be rich - for being a Met's fan in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And, just what is a slugging percentage? - An average.

And speaking of baseball, the O's suck by 27.

That's fine - means season tickets will be muy cheapo next season.

It's simple - I love justice.

There aren't enough trains in the world.

Failure - but tuning

Listen: I succumbed and ate out today. But I went three days straight without paying any organization to give/cook me food, and for me is a great start.

And it disgusted me. $8.90...! That's nearly a fourth of my allowance on one meal!

Meanwhile, sportsteams spend 30 dollars on pills to prevent fat bricks of men from overheating ... I'm told 30 dollars could feed a child for a month! It's as if these men are eating a child a day, and being praised for it!

I borrowed from the library "Ultra Marathon Man," and it is about this man, who ran 50 marathons in 50 days in 50 different states.

I'm back on track. I'm experimenting so that when schools starts I'll be a 35 dollar a week champion.

Long live the Longhorns.