Social Blunder? You wish.

So I just did a Holiday Party White Elephant gift exchange. I tried to pick a gift that was middle of the road, you know, not too big, not too small, not brightly wrapped ...etc. The goal was to select the gift and not have it stolen from me. Well, sure enough, two rounds go and my gift gets stolen.

My options were to go to the pile for a new one, or, good sirs and dames, steal.

Tooth for tooth.

Eye for eye.

I noticed a couple had brought their baby, and they had selected a big bright red gift a few rounds ago.

The baby was happily playing with that gift, enamored with the red gift paper.

Shiny.

Beautiful.

Eternal.

Well, not eternal.

I stood up, adjusted my waist band like a man, and declared, "I'm stealing from the kid."

Marched right over and took the gift.

His face was classic: shock, realization, lower lip out, eyes squint, and then -

The fireworks.

The crowd made a huge noise as the kid was about to cry, and the noise bumped him up to the 3rd tier of cry-baby.

I turned around and sat down with my gift.

I will be lambasted forever. However, we applaud Ray Croc and Bo Jackson for quotes such as

"If my competitor was drowning, I'd reach in, pull him up to the surface, and stick a hose in his mouth, and then push him under again."

and

"If you are my enemy and you have a flat tire on the side of the road, I will stop splash cold water on you, throw the bucket at you, and then speed off."

And most recently, yours truly had to add:

"If you think a baby will give you immunity from the steal-phase of a White Elephant, think the f*** again, friend."

-ft