Taking the plunge

I've often said I wanted a device that could do everything.

Here is : The Ocean.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous and it is okay.

Hidden Present

What the f___ is going on in Iraq?


I know, I know. I'm a little late in asking that question.

If I work for Blackwater, can I still get into Heaven? If so, it sounds like it would be the most fun on earth - a real life video game.

Hidden History

I wish my dad had rocket scientists working for him in the '50s.

First 3 games, First 3 sacks.

"Okoye had a pair of sacks and forced a fumble in the Texans’ 34-21 win over the Panthers."

From here.


The kid is going to be a star!

A few news clips (not too much sports, Rachel).

My balls liked this story.


And I only became aware of this because the BGSA sent an email to everyone in the school for pre-ordering "Jena 6" shirts. I am going to wear a "Jena 6 3 strikes and you are out - why was Bell allowed to ring for a fourth time?" shirt to their meeting. I'm sure I'll be labeled a racist, just as Michael Richards. But the truth is, I agree that the whole situation was handled poorly and as result things have gotten out of hand and there may be some racism in Louisiana playing a part, but no one should be let "off the hook" for ganging up 5 to 1 and kicking someone unconscious.

And the Vikings continue to suck.

I'm off to the Square State tomorrow.

Big, spoiled men ...

...get their due:

"Local youths left a toilet seat with a harassing message on his doorstep. Local news reported that the police did not disclose what the message on the garbage can said [19] Other sources claim that "Nice Job Tank" was written on the seat. The seat had been duct-taped to a garbage can filled with excrement."

From wikipedia.

Also, solicited spam, but ignored after an on-slaught by an email user, is called Bacn.

What is this? Eliminate "o" day? Next I'm going to read a post that says:

"Rgasm: lexigraphical scping rcks."

Grand Junktown in the news again -

this time for harboring criminals on the lamb.

Because the world is not fair.

Why can't it be like this for Caffo?

Rules are stupid.

Like these. Man, if they are green, release them everywhere. I wonder if a flying buzzing about war thought this one up.

Also, where's the 5 ways to avoid the PhD 1st year 40?

And if you're friends are sporting more ice than usual and swear that they hate the Texans (which have BVP and Amobi), turn them in.

A Bronco Bonus:

In December of 2005, I posted this. Yes, most of it is drivel, but pay attention to where I ask the Chicago Bear's A. Brown and the Bucs' Simeon Rice to have a baby and donate it to the Broncos.

A little background: the season the bucs went to the superbowl, Simeon Rice was unstoppable. I told everyone how excited I was to watch a Monday Night Football game of him while home on vacation that I would run around my house each time he got a sack, hopping over 4 fences per loop and sprinting.

I ran around my house 2.5 times that night.

Anyway, Simeon did not donate his child to the Broncos - he gave his only begotten himself.


Hooray!

A Breast Hit Man

Sign me up.

Oh wait...what are the duties? Making the corporatocracy rich and rigging ad campaigns and putting babies' lives in danger...? Hmm. I hear what you are saying, but how close to "hitting a breast" would I get? No where near? Even on Cap Hill? Okay, okay. Thanks. I don't think I want the position, but keep my CV on file.

I was solicited today to join Facebook. And I kicked her Face(book) in.

I have mentioned this in an earlier post. I guess I have to be balding and crotchety in an adorable "freelance writer" sort of way to get noticed.

Back to the Gibbs Sampler.

Get Marky-Mark on the phone.

We will call it, "The Mexican Job."

We'll leave out the mini-coopers though ... we'll borrow lame-@$$ Ford's kick-@$$ Chrysler 300 from the lame-@$$ "Firewall."

That's the spirit. The spirit of the old.

I didn't play in high school or college - so maybe I can play four years after I retire.

Can anyone contain McCrary?

Play the video.

Also, Age Of Love - recently saw the finale. Mission accomplished - they're extinct.

Some odds. Some ends.

Kanye gives props to Timberlake. I'm not so interested in that, but more between the bet between 50 cent and Kanye concerning their careers.


I personally used Vick's jersey to piss off my dad - by wrapping my dead mother in it.


Matt Murphy got to go to Australia, acquired overnight fame, and now will be rich - for being a Met's fan in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And, just what is a slugging percentage? - An average.

And speaking of baseball, the O's suck by 27.

That's fine - means season tickets will be muy cheapo next season.

It's simple - I love justice.

There aren't enough trains in the world.

Failure - but tuning

Listen: I succumbed and ate out today. But I went three days straight without paying any organization to give/cook me food, and for me is a great start.

And it disgusted me. $8.90...! That's nearly a fourth of my allowance on one meal!

Meanwhile, sportsteams spend 30 dollars on pills to prevent fat bricks of men from overheating ... I'm told 30 dollars could feed a child for a month! It's as if these men are eating a child a day, and being praised for it!

I borrowed from the library "Ultra Marathon Man," and it is about this man, who ran 50 marathons in 50 days in 50 different states.

I'm back on track. I'm experimenting so that when schools starts I'll be a 35 dollar a week champion.

Long live the Longhorns.

Farewell to Chipotle

I increased the bandwidth in anticipation of the traffic for this post.

Yes, the man who ate at Chipotle at least 4 times a week, the man who ate there so frequently he often got his meals comped or police-discounted (1/2 off total bill), the man who when eating at a Chipotle up the street from the other one in the Inner Harbor was called a "traitor" by the Inner Harbor Chipotle manager when she returned a borrowed cheese grater, the man who advocated quesadillas as the cure for burrito-boredom (only if the store is not busy - they take longer), the man who always respected the sneezeguards, the man who tried out his horrible spanish for a spell for ordering his burritos - is saying goodbye to Chipotle.

Wall Street Journal: Is this because Li'l Rove is resigning?

fantasticterrific: No. But it is related.

WSJ: Explain.

ft: The past year in Charm City I only used one card and thereby was able to quantify the amount of money I spent at Chipotle. It is an underestimate due to the kind discounts I received along the way. Between 08/15/2006 and 06/27/2007, I spent more than $705.61 dollars there. And the cost was not only money - it took time, at least 2 hours per trip due to my refilling habits and the fact I do not own a car. Also, my waist [circumference] line grew by 8 inches.

WSJ: Holy s#(t.

ft: I know.

WSJ: Did eating at Chipotle remind you of the Square State? Was it a comfort food?

ft: It was - in the beginning. As time wore on it had more of the tell tale signs of addiction. I once broke into a Chipotle for a bag of chips.

WSJ: Do you want me to print that?

ft: I'm coming clean, baby. Print it all. This summer I did some reading - books with such titles as Blue Like Jazz, Through Painted Deserts, Revolution In World Missions, and Confessions of An Economic Hitman. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I consume way too much. I am so fat and so rich and all I have is this hunger in my belly to have more. Going out to eat is a status symbol. It is this feeling of power, going in to a place and having food made for you like you are a big shot. Even if it is fast food.

WSJ: What's next?

ft: I just want to gain awareness of my own habits. I want to stop consuming so much and thereby stop fueling the corporatocracy that Karl Rove and his friends have engineered. So, I'm living on 5 dollars a day.

WSJ: [sets 5 dollar cup of SBUX down cautiously] What?

ft: Just food. I am still going to pay rent and internet and cell phone bills and see movies and buy toiletries - but food...all I get is 5 dollars a day, including groceries.

WSJ: You'd be at the poverty level!

ft: In a sense, but not really. I still have shelter and clothes and a shower and an address and credit cards if emergencies pop up. But, every Saturday I will withdraw seven 5 dollar bills and go grocery shopping on Sunday. Whatever I do not spend on groceries will be "snack cash".

WSJ: A soda is going to become a real treat.

ft: That's point. To start realizing what I've been taking for granted for so long, and appproach, not attain, solidarity with the world's impoverished people.

WSJ: Are you a hippie?

ft: I should smack you in your mouth. I'm no hippie. I'm an American.

WSJ: Do you like Jimmy Joe Roche?

ft: We've collaborated a few times. He's a little too much into shock value for my taste, and I gave that up years ago.

WSJ: What about 39 West Lex?

ft: Listen, I never said that Iraq = al Qaeda = 9/11. I may go live in a swanky place. So be it.

WSJ: Is the journey for living on less just preparation for moving into a place that is beyond your lifestyle... are you testing to see if you can live on beans and rice so that you can dump hundreds of millions of cents and the blood of America's sons and daugthers into a higher rent payment on a Southwest Credit Card so that you get free tickets as well?

ft: We really are getting off track here.

WSJ: I will Black Monday your @$$ - answer the question.

ft: It could be spun that way.

WSJ: [rips off mask, to reveal Karl Rove was the interviewer all along] I suppose it could be, couldn't it.


*fin*

My life is going to be better.

Things are improving:

1) I got a paypass so that I can get these a lot more easily. It is really convenient.

2) I have ordered a swissgear backpack so I can be a one bag man when going to school and Iran. No more two one-strap bags, one for books, one for computer, both for looks.

3) I have purchased three laundry baskets/hampers. If I sort as I peel them off, then I won't have to frantically sort out clothes from a huge stinking pile later.

4) This place is now taking applications, so I can move 2 blocks over and be NOT assaulted when I exit my building. I will be the very first person to live in that apartment, which means I can be assured no one has had sex on the carpet (that is, before I move in).

5) I have every episode of How I Met Your Mother on my laptop. They are so light and delightful, but not vapid. I've enjoyed the 15 or so I've seen.