Things are improving:
1) I got a paypass so that I can get these a lot more easily. It is really convenient.
2) I have ordered a swissgear backpack so I can be a one bag man when going to school and Iran. No more two one-strap bags, one for books, one for computer, both for looks.
3) I have purchased three laundry baskets/hampers. If I sort as I peel them off, then I won't have to frantically sort out clothes from a huge stinking pile later.
4) This place is now taking applications, so I can move 2 blocks over and be NOT assaulted when I exit my building. I will be the very first person to live in that apartment, which means I can be assured no one has had sex on the carpet (that is, before I move in).
5) I have every episode of How I Met Your Mother on my laptop. They are so light and delightful, but not vapid. I've enjoyed the 15 or so I've seen.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
We are all New Yorkers.
"A fan wearing a Mets jersey wound up with the historic ball. Matt Murphy of New York emerged from the stands with the souvenir and a bloodied face, and was whisked to a secure room."
All this because a large man hit a large ball for a home-run 756 times.
Barry. Lamar. Bonds.
From this source.
All this because a large man hit a large ball for a home-run 756 times.
Barry. Lamar. Bonds.
From this source.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
My new hero, Ryan Hall.
Because of his Half Marathon time, a time I erroneously have stated in the past "would never happen."
Champion.
Champion.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Cardinal Sin - Cursing
I can't blame him - I know I would swear like a marine if I were ever to go to battle.
I am Fantastic f***ing Terrific.
I am Fantastic f***ing Terrific.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Awards are worth nothing.
I've been on a kick of looking up childhood football heroes and Superbowls, and am finding out a lot via wikipedia. A sample:
Pound that rock. John Gruden taunted a celebratory crowd after the Bucs' Superbowl victory against the Panty Raiders with "Pound! That! Rock!" I found it humorous that no one else joined in with him, and there was a collective "huh?" in the crowd. Well, looks like the Jags thought having a catchy phrase would get them a superbowl victory - instead, it nearly cost the punter his life.
Greg Lloyd. All I remember is that he was super strong. He was fined for shoving Brett Favre 12 feet (unnecessary roughness or late hit accusation). I just remember the commentators saying that it looked like a legitimate hit, and it would be ludicrous if he was fined for just being strong. He was fined for that - but should have been fined for shoving a gun in his son's mouth because of "poor grades."
And this little ditty about Eugene the Machine:
Bronco's 2nd Second Super Bowl Victory and the Morality of Man
Now, to Eugene's credit, the 40 dollars did not include the tip, which was going to be the friendship bracelet that his 8 year-old daughter gave him on his birthday.
Bart Starr - stop spinning!
Pound that rock. John Gruden taunted a celebratory crowd after the Bucs' Superbowl victory against the Panty Raiders with "Pound! That! Rock!" I found it humorous that no one else joined in with him, and there was a collective "huh?" in the crowd. Well, looks like the Jags thought having a catchy phrase would get them a superbowl victory - instead, it nearly cost the punter his life.
Greg Lloyd. All I remember is that he was super strong. He was fined for shoving Brett Favre 12 feet (unnecessary roughness or late hit accusation). I just remember the commentators saying that it looked like a legitimate hit, and it would be ludicrous if he was fined for just being strong. He was fined for that - but should have been fined for shoving a gun in his son's mouth because of "poor grades."
And this little ditty about Eugene the Machine:
Bronco's 2nd Second Super Bowl Victory and the Morality of Man
Now, to Eugene's credit, the 40 dollars did not include the tip, which was going to be the friendship bracelet that his 8 year-old daughter gave him on his birthday.
Bart Starr - stop spinning!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Updates of Fatness - III
July 16th
weight: 275.0 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in
July 23rd
weight: 279.5 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in
Shoot. So much for my month of weight loss. I might re-instate my plan to touch 300...just like my pal Amobi Okoye.
weight: 275.0 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in
July 23rd
weight: 279.5 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in
Shoot. So much for my month of weight loss. I might re-instate my plan to touch 300...just like my pal Amobi Okoye.
Heart(s) of a Champion
Just got back from Denver.
Had two friends wuss out on seeing me. They have no heart.
However, in the game of Hearts, my first time playing, I found myself with 88 points. If I was forced to take the queen of spades, I'd be a goner.
However, I played it cool. I started accumulating hearts, telling everyone how I wanted to go home. With four cards in my hand, I started the play by laying a card down on the table. I had three left in my hand.
Ms. Fiancee laid a card less than mine, in suit (not a spade).
Then Mr. Fiancee looked at Ms. Fiancee, and said, "Hon, have you collected any hearts in this round?"
She stopped thinking about her can in a wedding dress for one second and answered, "Yes, sweetums."
Then that fat codger laid down the Unlucky Lady.
Then the fourth person laid down a card less than mine, in suit.
The taunting began but no tears were in my eyes. I checked the cards I had collected to see which heart I should play next. This caused a controversy as to whether I could check them or not, and the majority decided that I could. This is key.
My checking my cards caused people to have loose stools. They frantically starting checking their cards...turns out Ms. Fiancee was mistaken - she had no hearts...and neither of the other gentlemen had any collected cards, which left me with an Unlucky Lady with 11 Hearts.
And 2 more in my hand.
Softly the words from the stereo washed over the table, "and somewhere in the darkness, the gambler he broke even..."
Needless to say, I shot the frickin' moon, which landed me at 62 and added 26 to everyone, sending Ms. Fiancee over the 100 mark, ending the game.
And THAT'S how you play Hearts!
Had two friends wuss out on seeing me. They have no heart.
However, in the game of Hearts, my first time playing, I found myself with 88 points. If I was forced to take the queen of spades, I'd be a goner.
However, I played it cool. I started accumulating hearts, telling everyone how I wanted to go home. With four cards in my hand, I started the play by laying a card down on the table. I had three left in my hand.
Ms. Fiancee laid a card less than mine, in suit (not a spade).
Then Mr. Fiancee looked at Ms. Fiancee, and said, "Hon, have you collected any hearts in this round?"
She stopped thinking about her can in a wedding dress for one second and answered, "Yes, sweetums."
Then that fat codger laid down the Unlucky Lady.
Then the fourth person laid down a card less than mine, in suit.
The taunting began but no tears were in my eyes. I checked the cards I had collected to see which heart I should play next. This caused a controversy as to whether I could check them or not, and the majority decided that I could. This is key.
My checking my cards caused people to have loose stools. They frantically starting checking their cards...turns out Ms. Fiancee was mistaken - she had no hearts...and neither of the other gentlemen had any collected cards, which left me with an Unlucky Lady with 11 Hearts.
And 2 more in my hand.
Softly the words from the stereo washed over the table, "and somewhere in the darkness, the gambler he broke even..."
Needless to say, I shot the frickin' moon, which landed me at 62 and added 26 to everyone, sending Ms. Fiancee over the 100 mark, ending the game.
And THAT'S how you play Hearts!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Capitol Security in the Square State
Man, Charm City was supposed to be the dangerous one, but now Denver has played host to an NFL player being gunned down before Christmas and now a crazy emperor-wannabe assailing Cap Hill.
I say we put future threats in a blender with an iPhone for good measure.
I say we put future threats in a blender with an iPhone for good measure.
Updates of Fatness - II
July 16th
weight: 275.0 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in
My increase in calf circum. must be from all the ladies I was kicking off at a Shifty Wedding. Cougars and Kittens alike were giving my profile the eye, and my butt the "accidental" pat.
It just goes to show that as age goes up, so does fatness, yet, so does a female's desperation.
I also got wicked sun-burnt, so maybe they thought I was drunk with inhibitions nil.
weight: 275.0 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.75 in
My increase in calf circum. must be from all the ladies I was kicking off at a Shifty Wedding. Cougars and Kittens alike were giving my profile the eye, and my butt the "accidental" pat.
It just goes to show that as age goes up, so does fatness, yet, so does a female's desperation.
I also got wicked sun-burnt, so maybe they thought I was drunk with inhibitions nil.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Updates of Fatness
July 2nd
weight: 278.5 lbs
waist: 48.0 in
l. arm: 15.0 in
l. calf: 17.0 in
July 9th
weight: 274.5 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.0 in
I haven't been super strict, and I'm sure the l.arm measurement is artificial, b/c no one gains an inch on a cold measurement of a bicep in one week unless they were bitten in the tricep by a western diamondback.
My uncle, at a dinner last week, upon seeing me for the first time in a long time, said, "It seems you've gotten larger on us."
ft: "Yes."
uncle: Is it all that seafood out there.
ft: "Yes."
In truth, I only ate seafood once, and it was only 16 oz of shrimp, so I doubt that translated to a 40 lb weight gain. But, I'll let these Westerners believe that every morning I check the crab pots and buy Old Bay Seasoning in kegs.
When in truth I'm in Chipotle so often the managers fight over my attendance at their particular franchise.
weight: 278.5 lbs
waist: 48.0 in
l. arm: 15.0 in
l. calf: 17.0 in
July 9th
weight: 274.5 lbs
waist: 47.5 in
l. arm: 16.0 in
l. calf: 17.0 in
I haven't been super strict, and I'm sure the l.arm measurement is artificial, b/c no one gains an inch on a cold measurement of a bicep in one week unless they were bitten in the tricep by a western diamondback.
My uncle, at a dinner last week, upon seeing me for the first time in a long time, said, "It seems you've gotten larger on us."
ft: "Yes."
uncle: Is it all that seafood out there.
ft: "Yes."
In truth, I only ate seafood once, and it was only 16 oz of shrimp, so I doubt that translated to a 40 lb weight gain. But, I'll let these Westerners believe that every morning I check the crab pots and buy Old Bay Seasoning in kegs.
When in truth I'm in Chipotle so often the managers fight over my attendance at their particular franchise.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Don't tell them the real reason - puh-leaze, ft?
Source, once in NFL:
"While at CU he started two non-profit organizations that focused on youths in grades 6-8 who “didn’t get to choose their financial background.” "
Do they get to choose the alcohol flavor from your "Kids who drink are cool" cooler?
Source, pre-NFL:
"As part of his community service for the misdemeanor conviction, Harris created a nonprofit organization to work with middle-school kids with troubled backgrounds."
"While at CU he started two non-profit organizations that focused on youths in grades 6-8 who “didn’t get to choose their financial background.” "
Do they get to choose the alcohol flavor from your "Kids who drink are cool" cooler?
Source, pre-NFL:
"As part of his community service for the misdemeanor conviction, Harris created a nonprofit organization to work with middle-school kids with troubled backgrounds."
Friday, July 06, 2007
A year's Roth IRA contribution and change
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Quick hands
This young man also holds the (unverified) masturbation record.
James Dobson has a book in the works to reach out to this special demographic.
James Dobson has a book in the works to reach out to this special demographic.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Fatness by the numbers
So July will be my miracle month of getting back into shape. Why, just this morning I went spinning and had a light protein breakfast.
July 2nd
weight: 278.5 lbs
waist: 48.0 in
l. arm: 15.0 in
l. calf: 17.0 in
Here's the alarming thing about waist circumference: each inch gained is not the same.
For instance, assumed your spare tire is 1 inch high, and grows uniformly in a perfect circle outward. From 31 inches to 32 inches, the volume of fat added is 1*pi*(16^2 - 15.5^2) = 49.5 cubic inches. From 47 inch circumference to a 48 inch circumference, 1*pi*(24^2 - 23.5^2) = 74.6 cubic inches is added. In each case, the circumference only increased by one inch, but in the latter the fatness is more severe.
This is why the Battle of the Bulge requires entrenchment - yet, it is common that big results come quickly and then a plateau, so maybe a new perspective on physique-scaping should be that the first few inches lost should be seen as volume lost, to give a boost to self esteem (like a gym sock on a prom date).
My buddy wants to be at 235 by August 1st so he can get a 2 million dollar life insurance policy.
I'll beat him to 235 - my order of speed is being tracked by UPS.com as I type this.
-ft
July 2nd
weight: 278.5 lbs
waist: 48.0 in
l. arm: 15.0 in
l. calf: 17.0 in
Here's the alarming thing about waist circumference: each inch gained is not the same.
For instance, assumed your spare tire is 1 inch high, and grows uniformly in a perfect circle outward. From 31 inches to 32 inches, the volume of fat added is 1*pi*(16^2 - 15.5^2) = 49.5 cubic inches. From 47 inch circumference to a 48 inch circumference, 1*pi*(24^2 - 23.5^2) = 74.6 cubic inches is added. In each case, the circumference only increased by one inch, but in the latter the fatness is more severe.
This is why the Battle of the Bulge requires entrenchment - yet, it is common that big results come quickly and then a plateau, so maybe a new perspective on physique-scaping should be that the first few inches lost should be seen as volume lost, to give a boost to self esteem (like a gym sock on a prom date).
My buddy wants to be at 235 by August 1st so he can get a 2 million dollar life insurance policy.
I'll beat him to 235 - my order of speed is being tracked by UPS.com as I type this.
-ft
Freedom of Speech
First Don Imus, and now this.
Granted, the video portraying this situation is very biased and probably edited cleverly, but if even a little bit of truth is maintained, this is scary.
Why the heck didn't the police contain the paraders better?
What is happening to the USA? Why didn't the paraders realize that he was exercising a freedom granted by the country THEY WANT TO JOIN?
I am not taking a stance on the immigration issue here, in a blog, because the anti-blogger blogs here. However, I think this film hints at the ugliness of humanity - to taunt someone when they are bleeding and handcuffed and pelt his car with projectiles is a heck of a way to say "let us show you our appreciation for your country's freedoms."
"And I'll have a chinchilla."
Granted, the video portraying this situation is very biased and probably edited cleverly, but if even a little bit of truth is maintained, this is scary.
Why the heck didn't the police contain the paraders better?
What is happening to the USA? Why didn't the paraders realize that he was exercising a freedom granted by the country THEY WANT TO JOIN?
I am not taking a stance on the immigration issue here, in a blog, because the anti-blogger blogs here. However, I think this film hints at the ugliness of humanity - to taunt someone when they are bleeding and handcuffed and pelt his car with projectiles is a heck of a way to say "let us show you our appreciation for your country's freedoms."
"And I'll have a chinchilla."
Friday, June 29, 2007
YouVegas.
Read this and get inspired.
Now, there was no follow up to this story. That's because what stays in Vegas must have happened in Vegas.
Wait.
Essentially, though, I feel compelled to leak a little bit of the fun that happened AND be one of the rarest groups in the world: those who POST videos to YouTube. Newsweek (April 30th, 2007: page 18) published a statistic that said only .16% of YouTube visitors are producers.
Laziness.
Unimaginitativeness. (not a word - which shows creativity and imagination) (explaining the process shows condescension)
So, below is my first posted YouTube video. It has no sound because there were legal issues with Toby Keith, who threatened to put a boot in my @$$ for five dollars. But essentially, I was in Toby Keith's I Love This Bar in Vegas during the last 24 hour stay and saw Will Ferrell dressed as Screech dancing with some drunk broad on a girls night out in Vegas:
And it was so much fun that I've decided to do Vegas again tomorrow night, for one night only, this time, less than 24 hours.
This time around, I will have baggage.
I will also have a King Size bed in Harrah's ... and be a permanent fixture in TB's Bar until Check-out at 11AM Sunday.
Then Chipotle on the Strip.
Then, Junktown, Square State, for the most boring month of my life.
Why vegas? B/C flying through Vegas using Southwest and Allegiant Air with a hotel room and 80 dollars play money is tantamount in expenditure to flying straight to Junktown via DIA.
Bangs, bucks, and youth.
Hit me!
Now, there was no follow up to this story. That's because what stays in Vegas must have happened in Vegas.
Wait.
Essentially, though, I feel compelled to leak a little bit of the fun that happened AND be one of the rarest groups in the world: those who POST videos to YouTube. Newsweek (April 30th, 2007: page 18) published a statistic that said only .16% of YouTube visitors are producers.
Laziness.
Unimaginitativeness. (not a word - which shows creativity and imagination) (explaining the process shows condescension)
So, below is my first posted YouTube video. It has no sound because there were legal issues with Toby Keith, who threatened to put a boot in my @$$ for five dollars. But essentially, I was in Toby Keith's I Love This Bar in Vegas during the last 24 hour stay and saw Will Ferrell dressed as Screech dancing with some drunk broad on a girls night out in Vegas:
And it was so much fun that I've decided to do Vegas again tomorrow night, for one night only, this time, less than 24 hours.
This time around, I will have baggage.
I will also have a King Size bed in Harrah's ... and be a permanent fixture in TB's Bar until Check-out at 11AM Sunday.
Then Chipotle on the Strip.
Then, Junktown, Square State, for the most boring month of my life.
Why vegas? B/C flying through Vegas using Southwest and Allegiant Air with a hotel room and 80 dollars play money is tantamount in expenditure to flying straight to Junktown via DIA.
Bangs, bucks, and youth.
Hit me!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
DC Short Films made me feel Short.
A friend of mine sent in 4 short films from the Movie Saturday troupe I financially backed earlier in this decade. I told this friend that I would not endorse the submission of the films, and then he countered that there would be critiques. He argued critiques could help focus the group's future work.
So, I forked out the money, and the results are in. Below are the films from Google Video embedded amongst the critiques.
"The 422 films in competition were sent to 16 teams of 3 people (film enthusiasts, filmmakers, critics, previous audience members and artists in other fields). Teams watched each film in its entirety, and was required to score films on four criteria (25 points each): Content, Style, Originality and Technical. The total score a film can receive is 100 points. In addition, films can be "recommended" -- meaning a team would stand behind the film in a debate. They were also asked to write a short paragraph about the film."
Below are the films. The resolution is poor, and the ideas poorer. Some of the critiques are hilarious, some flattering, and some reinforce how I thought a film should be shot.
Try Again
Content 5 Style 5 Originality 5 Technical 5 Total 20
Feedback:
A somewhat visually engaging but strange opening scene —a supine woman on a table to a backdrop of blue light and partly opened blinds— seems to have nothing to do with the rest of the film and is never resolved. Technical aspects are amateurish and weak, from harsh and unnatural lighting to echo-y audio to amateurish transitions. Camera fades between scenes were cute but, especially when combined with the two primary characters moving from chair to chair during the tutoring session, a clumsy way to mark time. Acting is wooden and unconvincing. Repeated lines and interruptions from the third character jar the ear and the sensibilities. The script is feeble and full of clichés at best. The judges did not “get” the film.
Ticking
Content 11 Style 11 Originality 14 Technical 12 Total 47
Feedback:
The effect of tension was sustained throughout the short, but the lighting seemed too bright. The music was effective with the sound of the ticking. The occasional dialogue detracted from the mood of the music and the quality of the repetitive ticking. The ending
could be more dramatic than just the woman with tape on her mouth. It needed more of an overall edge.
The Economy
Content 7 Style 10 Originality 20 Technical 10 Total 47
Feedback:
Interesting idea although the technical problems distracted from the experience of the film. The main actor delivered a credible role given the subject matter.
Safety in Numbers
Content 18 Style 15 Originality 21 Technical 12 Total 66
Feedback:
We enjoyed the idea and general content of the film but were distracted by the technical aspects that would have made the film more enjoyable if corrected. The lighting and the sound was distracting. The film quality was good but the acting could have been better rehearsed. We also were distracted with the cluttering of the set with camera equipement. There was a lot more physical movement than dialogue. Best of luck in your feature endeavors.
---> End Critiques de Short Film "De" "Ce" <---
For all works by the now defunct Movie Saturday group click here.
Feature length films are in the works.
So, I forked out the money, and the results are in. Below are the films from Google Video embedded amongst the critiques.
"The 422 films in competition were sent to 16 teams of 3 people (film enthusiasts, filmmakers, critics, previous audience members and artists in other fields). Teams watched each film in its entirety, and was required to score films on four criteria (25 points each): Content, Style, Originality and Technical. The total score a film can receive is 100 points. In addition, films can be "recommended" -- meaning a team would stand behind the film in a debate. They were also asked to write a short paragraph about the film."
Below are the films. The resolution is poor, and the ideas poorer. Some of the critiques are hilarious, some flattering, and some reinforce how I thought a film should be shot.
Try Again
Content 5 Style 5 Originality 5 Technical 5 Total 20
Feedback:
A somewhat visually engaging but strange opening scene —a supine woman on a table to a backdrop of blue light and partly opened blinds— seems to have nothing to do with the rest of the film and is never resolved. Technical aspects are amateurish and weak, from harsh and unnatural lighting to echo-y audio to amateurish transitions. Camera fades between scenes were cute but, especially when combined with the two primary characters moving from chair to chair during the tutoring session, a clumsy way to mark time. Acting is wooden and unconvincing. Repeated lines and interruptions from the third character jar the ear and the sensibilities. The script is feeble and full of clichés at best. The judges did not “get” the film.
Ticking
Content 11 Style 11 Originality 14 Technical 12 Total 47
Feedback:
The effect of tension was sustained throughout the short, but the lighting seemed too bright. The music was effective with the sound of the ticking. The occasional dialogue detracted from the mood of the music and the quality of the repetitive ticking. The ending
could be more dramatic than just the woman with tape on her mouth. It needed more of an overall edge.
The Economy
Content 7 Style 10 Originality 20 Technical 10 Total 47
Feedback:
Interesting idea although the technical problems distracted from the experience of the film. The main actor delivered a credible role given the subject matter.
Safety in Numbers
Content 18 Style 15 Originality 21 Technical 12 Total 66
Feedback:
We enjoyed the idea and general content of the film but were distracted by the technical aspects that would have made the film more enjoyable if corrected. The lighting and the sound was distracting. The film quality was good but the acting could have been better rehearsed. We also were distracted with the cluttering of the set with camera equipement. There was a lot more physical movement than dialogue. Best of luck in your feature endeavors.
---> End Critiques de Short Film "De" "Ce" <---
For all works by the now defunct Movie Saturday group click here.
Feature length films are in the works.
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